10 Relationships Tips After Having a Baby

10 Relationships Tips After Having a Baby
August 18 07:51 2016

Having a baby can turn your life completely. It’s not just all sun shines and rainbows which you hear usually.

If you happen to be a parent, you know exactly what it means to raise a child.

The first few months seems like a nightmare especially if it’s your first one.

Waking up in the middle of the night, figuring out what the baby is trying to say & their constant demand for your time, attention & energy makes the period one hell of a tough one.

If keeping the baby in your tummy was difficult, just wait till raise him in person.

And that worst part? This stress causes tension among you and your spouse.

They say marriage changes people, if you think so, just wait till you have a baby.

The weird part is what was brought to the world due to their love is the same thing that is slowly making them resent each other.

Even though it sounds like the problem is the baby, actually it’s not.

The problem simply is ignorance.

People tend to forget that everything changes with time especially after a baby.

Instead of embracing the change, people tend to resist it. And this resistance brings tension.

So the next question is what to expect? How to adapt to these changes?

Below you can find 10 tips to improve your relationships with your significant one while raising a baby.

Chores

The first thing that you notice is that the household chores are not  being taken care of.

The mother is usually busy with the baby all the time. This constant demand for her attention and energy makes her tired which affects drastically reduces her will to take part in households.

Reaction?

The father starts getting angry at the mother for this. The anger might now be visible in the beginning but slowly and gradually it builds inside and comes out like the lava erupts from a volcano.

The key to this problem is to recognize that chores have increased. You cannot expect to get those done if you are putting the same amount of work as you were before.

Even you cannot afford a maid, this can be solved with a little planning.

Make a list of all the chores and assign them accordingly. The allotment of the work should be unbiased and fair.

You can save countless hours of arguments of “who does what” and at the same time completing them in half the time.

 

Money

This is a kind of topic that makes most couples to fight over but not a second is spilled to ponder over for solutions.

A couple must take care of their finances before their baby’s arrived.

What happens after pregnancy is, the mother gets busy with the kids and in most cases she quits her job. Even though the father is working full, their income is reduced and the expenses increase.

The situation only gets worse if they are in debt and are supposed to repay some kind of loan.

This affects both the couple and the baby negatively.

Make sure to check your finances before the arrival of the baby and if you already are with one, cut off all the unnecessary expenses like cable, magazines, and any other subscription and prepare yourself for possible tough years ahead.

 

Behaviour

All the above-mentioned factors only lead to add stress in the couple’s life.

This stress affects  both the couples and the baby.

The constant fights and “you have changed” arguments create a negative vibe around the house.

The solution is to realize both that both the partners are stressed out.

The mother might be stressed out because of the baby and the father might be scared of how is he gonna pay the outstanding bills.

The key to solving the problem in the good old fashioned way – proper communication.

Take out time from your busy schedule to spend time with your partner. Ask somebody to take care of the baby for a while. Only ask them if you trust them with your life because that’s exactly what you’re giving them.

Talk to each other about the problems and misunderstanding that are facing.

A good rule of thumb is whenever a problem arises, it needs to solve then and there.

But if the fight gets intense, it better to leave the partner for a while to cool off.

 

Parenting

Every parent is clueless in the beginning about the art of parenting.

No matter how many books you read and how many seminars you attended, you eventually figure out that no matter what you do, no doctor can possibly tell you the best way to handle your baby, you have to figure it out yourself.

But the problem arises when you discover that your spouse’s parenting style differs from you almost every single way.

This creates tension as both the partners think that the other one is doing it wrong. Mothers think the fathers are being careless while the fathers think the mothers are being overly-protective.

They need to realize a child needs the parenting of both the father and the mother. As much as he needs the mother’s love and care, he/she also needs father’s toughness and strength.

So make peace with this fact that your parenting style is supposed to be different.

 

Sex

This is clearly not a popular topic to talk about. And it’s still considered a taboo in many parts of the world.

The truth is your sex will change.

If you have somebody open enough in your life to give insights on the sex life after conceiving a baby then you might happen to already know it.

In most cases, wives don’t feel like having sex for a long time. Some even take 6-9 months to feel comfortable.

Again, it’s just a matter of time after which things will return to normal.

You are likely to be exhausted most of the time, in the beginning, and whenever you are free, you’ll catch yourself taking a nap.

 

Hobbies

In the beginning, it will feel like you are never going to get time for yourselves.

All the times flies like it’s nothing. If you are not busy with the baby, work or chores, you’ll be catching up your missed sleeping sessions.

But as the time goes and the baby grows enough for not asking for your attention 24/7, you can consider asking for someone’s help to take care of them for a while to get some “me time”.

Dropping them to their grandparents can be a fantastic idea. Your grandparents are experienced and in most cases would love to have their grandchild with them (unless you don’t have some kind of family friction).

A win-win situation

 

Friendship

You might even see a change in your friendships.

You might have to be the one constantly informing them about your availability to make plans. This is usually because they know it’ll be hard to predict your plans when your baby is the one deciding your daily schedule.

You are also more likely to talk to your married friends than the single ones since you’ll have a common topic to talk about.

 

Emotional Roller Coaster

Having a baby makes you experience emotions, you never ever thought you would even in your wildest dreams.

There are uncountable stories of fathers who said they made fun of guys who cry after having a baby. Those same fathers admitted they couldn’t hold their tears after holding their baby in their hand, one of the popular celebrity Arnold Schwarzenegger being among them.

Every parent has admitted after having a child, you get to experience emotions you never felt before.

Some day you’ll feel like this was your worst decision ever and when suddenly you see your baby smiling, you’ll beat yourself up for even letting that thought cross your mind.

The only viable advice that you can get is just to know that it’s okay to have running different thoughts on different days and you’ll do just fine.

 

Discipline

Don’t yell, spank or punish your child that might show shows even the tiniest hint of violence.

Whenever your child shows some kind of behavior you disapprove of, just tell them calmly that you are not going to tolerate it. If the behavior continues, ignoring them might be the best choice.

Teaching them manners and discipline through spanking and yelling is one of the worst ways.

 

Counselling

If you are facing troubles in relationships and unsure how to handle it, talking to an expert about might be your last resort.

Don’t underestimate the power of counseling.

Talking to an expert about your problems can give you valuable insights and who knows, it might prove to be the foundation for building a better relationship.

 

Closing Thoughts

This article might look negative and crush your excitement to have a baby.

It was done purposely.

You see, you get to hear the lalabies and fun after the arrival of a baby everyday. The purpose of this article was simply to give you an insight on the other side of spectrum.

Raising a baby is difficult but does that mean it’s not worth it?

No

We simply wanted you to know in advance about to expect and how to tackle them so you breeze past this period as smoothly as possible.

 

10 Relationships Tips After Having a Baby

 

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