How reconnecting with yourself will make you a better mother?

How reconnecting with yourself will make you a better mother?
August 30 13:07 2016

You are reading this because you happen to be the mother of a child.

Let me make some wild guess – you do all the chores, you take care of the wellbeing of the whole family, and you never think about yourself. In fact, you rarely ask for something I return. You do what you do because you enjoy for the sake of doing it.

Even though I am no fortune teller, some of these traits happen to correspond to your behavior.

How did I know all these things?

I am no Nostradamus, but these traits happen to be a common denominator in all the mothers. Somehow these magical beings find time for everything from all the household chores to feeding the baby to taking care of the wellbeing of the adults in the family. The most mysterious part is they are self-less, and they rarely ask for something in return.

Okay, don’t flatter yourself anymore.

This post is not about how great mothers are. In fact, what you are going to read below is how this selflessness is might cause problems to them as well as their family in future.


What about you?

I get it; you do all the things, and you do because you enjoy for the sake of doing it, not for any appreciation or reward.

However, have you ever thought about yourself?

What I mean is you take care of the whole family but have you ever thought about fulfilling your needs?

This might sound selfish but bear with me for a while.

Doing things for others is more fulfilling and satisfying than doing things for yourself, I know, but once in a while, you should take the time to pamper yourself.

It will be increasingly difficult to find time for yourself when you are always busy doing for others. Eventually what will happen is you start getting frustrated and resenting your life. Why? After all, you are a human. You need to fulfill your needs as well.

This will intern negatively affect your behavior and work towards the family. Finally, one day you will break down and cry that nobody cares about you, and your life only revolves around taking care of others.

You forget that people will care about you if you let them.

If they do not notice that you need some attention as well, they are unlikely to make any move. How on earth are they supposed to know if you do not let them feel it?

So, do yourself as well as your family a favor and take out some “me time” every day no matter what.

No, I do not mean arranging kitty party with your friends every day although it would not hurt doing once in a while.

Me time means you take care of your health. You pursue things again that you quit a long time ago because people told you to have to change after marriage.

Yes, mothers are busy just after having a baby. However, it should only go that far.

When the baby grows big enough, you should start pursuing things that you left. Only giving up on stuff because you are now a mother is disillusioning oneself into thinking you do not have time. You have to make the time.

If you do not know where to start, below you can find a checklist that’ll help you to start living the life again.



Nothing is more important than your health.

How much time should be devoted to your health? As much as it takes

Sounds selfish?

Have you ever wondered what will happen to your kid, your husband, and your family, if tomorrow you have diagnosed with a fatal disease?

Forget about helping them; their life will revolve around only you. Moreover, don’t even get me started on the bills. Your money, your time, your energy and your happiness will all be taken away from you as well as your family in an instant.

Health is a game you just cannot afford to lose.

If you are confused where to start, here are some things you can consider.

Join a health club. Enroll in yoga classes. Find a gym nearest to your house and commit to it. How about jogging for 15 minutes every day? Any of these combinations will take one hour at most.

Exercises are a great way to become healthy. However, one should not forget about the other half.

It is proper food and rest.

As obvious as it may sound, count how many hours of adequate sleep do you get? If the answer is less than 7 hours, then stop reading this and sleep.

No matter what, you should be able to get seven hours of proper sleep every day.

What about your food? Do you skip breakfast because you are in a hurry cooking for others? How about doing both?

Eating healthy food at a proper time is important so that your body can get good nutrition and energy to help you work during the day.



Before being a mother, you had some hobbies, didn’t you?

Did you like cooking or maybe dancing? What about your passion for singing you had years ago?

If you did not pursue anything before, now is the perfect time to do it?


Hobbies let you discover your inner self. You get to unleash your creativity and the genius in you. Not to forget, you will feel more energetic and refreshing than ever before.

Try cooking, dancing or even reading books if you were a nerd before your marriage.

I cannot say how busy you are and how much time you have but block at least 15 minutes every day to pursue a long lost hobby lost hobby or start a new one.



When was the last time you went on a date with your husband?

A common thing among couples is that they stop giving time to each other once they have children. Eventually, they cannot connect with each other anymore, and then they wonder why the other half changed?

How is the marriage supposed to work if you do not give enough time to each other?

Do both yourself and your family a favor and book one night a week as a date night where only you and your husband go out. Recreate the atmosphere that was there before the marriage. This will help you to connect with each other once again.

Your kids can sense any tension that is there between you and your spouse. This will, in turn, make them unhappy and scared. The bond between you and your spouse does have an incredible effect on your kids as well.


“Long time no see.”

The usual way of greeting your friends after marriage especially after having children.

Reconnecting with old friends will indeed make you happy. Moreover, remember happiness is contagious. Your happiness can amplify the whole atmosphere of the house.

So, find your old friends and talk to them once in a while.

In the 21st century, it is almost impossible not to find someone you knew through social media and other apps.


Closing Thoughts

You do not have to look like a boring old mother who gave her life for her loved ones like the ones they portrait in movies.

Go out and play with your kids in your backyard, go hiking, biking and running with your friends once a while. Have a movie date with your spouse and watch movies at home alone.

Everything mentioned above isn’t even supposed to take the majority of your time. Just a few hours a day will do the magic.

If you think you do not have time, you are right. You have to make time for yourself.

Moreover, one thing you will notice is that by taking care of yourself, you will become a better mother.

When you spend time taking care of your health and needs, your kids will also start copying them. You will not even have to lecture them on this subject since kids mostly learn through osmosis.

You will become a better parent and a role model to your kids.

All of a sudden life will not seem like an obligation anymore. Every day will be a new day, and you will start enjoying life like your kids do.

You will realize it is important to take care of yourself like taking care of others.

After all, you owe yourself one.



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