What to do when the father is absent

What to do when the father is absent
August 08 11:21 2016

It’s a dreaded thing by every mother to have kids and have their father absent in their lives. Sometimes it is not anticipated while sometimes the father does not even take any responsibility from the conception of the child. What’s even more dreadful is when the kids are growing and questions start popping up about the whereabouts of their dad.

Such questions might make your heart beat faster or actually make you feel sick but first things first, calm down. You can do a lot by helping you kids cope with and understand their father’s absence. You will not be helping by freaking out. Below are some of the ways to deal with such situations:

Don’t lie

Although most mothers’ first instincts will be to protect their kids from any kind of knowledge about what might have happened in the past but that does not make it a good idea to lie to them about their father or withhold too much information. The facts of the real story could be delivered in a sensitive manner and the mothers should be careful not to share too much than they should.

Mothers should also not cook up undesirable news about the kids’ dad. Whatever any mother would say, just don’t say their father is dead. Somehow in the future the truth will come out and the kids will resent their mum if it does. Instead she should find a way to explain to them that being a parent is not an easy job and some people such as their father are not just ready. As they get older and they have a good understanding off things, their mother might let on more information about the real circumstances surrounding the absence of their father.

Don’t insult Your Child’s Father

When telling your child any information, try to sound as possible as possible. They need you to reassure them that they will be fine with you with their dad not aaround and that it’s not their fault that their dad is not around. Be supportive and don’t say bad things about their dad.
your child feel that he has what he needs in you, which is “all that counts.”

Let them understand that there are different types of families

Your kids might feel different from other kids who have both parents around. Make your kids understand that there are different types of families and yours is a type and there is a diversity in the different kinds of family different people choose to have.

Never fail to tell your kids that you love them

It is very important for kids to hear from their single mom that they are loved unconditionally even if their dad is not around to take care of them.

 

The questions will never stop

Note that until something definitive happens, your kids might never stop asking those questions. So don’t tire, just keep giving them appropriate responses and try to be as strong as possible.

 

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