Why kids lie and what to do about it (and how)

Why kids lie and what to do about it (and how)
August 09 08:30 2016

Children can figure out how to tell lies from an early on age, by around 3 years old usually. This is whenever your child starts off to realize that you can’t read minds, so he is able to say things that are not true without you having a clue. Children tend to lie more when their younger. Your child could easily get better at informing lies by corresponding her cosmetic expressions and the shade of her words from what she’s saying. In the event that you ask her to describe what she’s expressing, she’ll usually own up. When children reach school-age , they could lie more regularly and can be better at lying. The lies also get more difficult, because your son or daughter has more words and is way better at focusing on how other folks think. By eight years, children can lie effectively without getting trapped out.

When you capture your son or daughter in a lie, it’s natural to feel betrayed, injure, frustrated and angry. But here’s the reality: lying is normal. It’s incorrect, but it’s normal. Actually, we all undertake it to some extent. Consider how individuals use is based on their daily lives: When we’re quit for speeding, we often decrease what we’ve done incorrect, if not out-and-out lie about any of it. Why? We’re expecting to escape something, even if we realize better. I believe with kids, lying is a faulty problem-solving skill. It’s our job as parents to instruct our kids how to resolve those problems in more constructive ways.

 

Here are a few of the reasons why kids lie:

(1). Some secrets are better kept safe:

Sometimes teenagers use lying to keep some secrets of their life to themselves. Sometimes it could even seem to be that they lie about things that don’t even seem to be terribly important. Another reason children lie is when they understand the house guidelines and constraints to be too liericted. So suppose you have a 16-year-old who isn’t allowed to fix her nails or wear makeup (at least not at her early age), but all her friends are wearing it. So she wears it when she goes out, then lie to you about it. Lying could somehow become a way on her behalf to perhaps have you believe she’s following your rules but still do “normal” teen activities.

(2). To improve his/her personality :

One of the many ways kids use lying to make a name for him/herself is to make alot of friends, even if it’s the wrong way. Peer pressure can be one of the major causes of lying too. Your son or daughter might be lying to his friends about his so called achievements he says he’s done that he actually haven’t done before, to make him sound more impressive.

(3). To get noticed by others:

Whenever your child is little and the lies are inconsequential, then it must be his way of getting a little attention. Youngsters also constitute reports during imaginative play, or participating in “make believe.” This isn’t lying but a means to allow them to indulge their imaginations and commence to seem sensible of the world around them.

(4). To Prevent hurting other people’s feelings

At some true point, most people understand how to reduce things so as not to damage other people’s feelings or emotions. But kids don’t act the same way as grown ups, so it is often easier to allow them to lie. I believe as adults, we understand how to carefully say things more; everybody knows how to reduce hurt. But kids have no idea how to achieve that. Lying is an initial step toward learning how to state something more carefully. In some real ways, we educate them on how to lie whenever we say, especially to Grandma, for instance we tell them to lie about liking something that grandma got them, that they obviously don’t, but have to lie since it will harm her thoughts in any other case. We may say we have a very good reason but that doesn’t change the fact that you’re teaching your children how to bend the reality.

(5).To escape from trouble:

Almost every kid lie from one time to another to save their skin. Supposing they’ve gotten into trouble because they have done something they shouldn’t have. Maybe they broke a guideline or they didn’t do what they were supposed to do at the right time, like their chores. If indeed they don’t think up another way to avoid it, somewhat than put up with the consequences, they lie to avoid getting in trouble. Again, for me, the overall reason kids lie is basically because they don’t really have yet another way of coping with a problem or issue. Actually, sometimes it is the only way they learn how to solve an issue; it’s almost such as a faulty success skill for kids.

It should be the parent’s responsibility to differentiate or tell the sort of lie the youngster has told, also to ensure that it isn’t linked to unsafe, risky or unlawful behavior. This reaches the point about picking your battles. If somehow your kid’s friend got a new dress, and you eventually see your kid tell her friend,” oh Mary, your dress looks beautiful” but tells you later in the car or kitchen, “Mary’s dress looks awful” I advice you say something to them, nevertheless, you might ignore it also, particularly if this is unusual for your son or daughter. If they are lying about something that’s risky or against the law or really unsafe, you have to handle it definitely. And whether it’s to the idea to be really important, like a lie about risky sexual behavior, drugs, or other hazardous activities you may need to seek some help from a specialist.

 

How to prevent or Address lying

All Children definitely lie, these days you can hardly find a kid that don’t lie. Even so, some kids are well, lie much often than others. If for instance you’ve caught your kid lying every single time, and you can’t come up with a method on how to prevent this, try this out;

(1). Be simplistic:

Keep it very centered and simple for your son or daughter; focus on the behavior. And tell him that you would like to hear that which was taking place that made him feel he had a need to lie. (You aren’t looking for a justification for the lie, but rather to identify the challenge your child was having that they used lying to solve. ) Be specific and immediate. The intervention itself would stop wasting time and to-the-point; you do not want to lecture your son or daughter for a long period. This has proven to be ineffective .

(2). Be specific:

When you’re conversing with your son or daughter, be specific in what you observed and what the issues are. You are able to state calmly and in just a brief way , “When he/she keep lying about homework, this would be the consequence.” Or “It’s proof you creeped out of the house last night. You will have to forge a consequence for this as he/she might eventually do it again.

(3). Be open to your kids:

As the lie is most probably a genuine way your son or daughter is wanting to solve a problem, ensure you indicate that you would like to hear what’s happening with him. He might not exactly prepare himself to talk to you about any of it the very first time you bring up the subject, and that’s where the neutrality on the parent’s part will come in. You intend to most probably study what your son or daughter or teen’s problem is. You intend to create a protected climate for him to let you know throughout that intervention. If a child is not ready, it is critical to keep that door wide open. Create this environment when you are neutral rather than attacking him.

(4). Don’t lecture, it never works:

When you get your child lying, understand that lecturing would be futile. It never works anymore, not in this generation at least. They’re no more listening and nothing changes. Just what exactly you must do instead is to recognize what it is you are viewing and what you’re worried about.

(5). Developmental age

Adults grow through stages likewise children. As we develop mentally, our estimation of reallife and fiction also grow. When dealing with a lying child, it’s important to know they are still in their developmental journey. When your 5 year old says,” grandpa turns into the grinch at night, and he probably steals all my candies, or even next month!”. He’s not lying, He’s simply expressing his own childish view of things. Or when a 4 year old keep insisting she saw santa last night, that’s just her exploring the line between the imaginary and real life. On the other hand, when an 8 year old denies playing on his PlayStation when he’s supposed to be done with his chores first is a whole different issue. It’s a developmental stage that requires a whole new response.
only way they learn how to solve an issue; it’s almost such as a faulty success skill for kids.

It should be the parent’s responsibility to differentiate or tell the sort of lie the youngster has told, also to ensure that it isn’t linked to unsafe, risky or unlawful behavior. This reaches the point about picking your battles. If somehow your kid’s friend got a new dress, and you eventually see your kid tell her friend,” oh Mary, your dress looks beautiful” but tells you later in the car or kitchen, “Mary’s dress looks awful” I advice you say something to them, nevertheless, you might ignore it also, particularly if this is unusual for your son or daughter. If they are lying about something that’s risky or against the law or really unsafe, you have to handle it definitely. And whether it’s to the idea to be really important, like a lie about risky sexual behavior, drugs, or other hazardous activities you may need to seek some help from a specialist.

 
Adults grow through stages likewise children. As we develop mentally, our estimation of reallife and fiction also grow. When dealing with a lying child, it’s important to know they are still in their developmental journey. 

 

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