Your Baby’s Cries. How to react?

Your Baby’s Cries. How to react?
September 01 12:25 2016


Every parent has this issue which could be particularly confusing for new parents. Your little one seem to always want something at each and every minute of the day. It’s frustrating for some parents or at least it is hard work, although some have claimed it to be fun.  The basic requirement to handling a new demanding baby is to first try to understand what goes through their little mind. What does my baby want when he cries? And how can I stop him from crying? These are important questions we attempt to answer with this article.


How Babies Think

For obvious reasons, babies are completely dependent on their parent or guardian. They find themselves in this strange new world where no one seems to understand their language, while they are also completely incapable of taking care of their own needs. From experience, they know the only way to communicate need to you is by crying; you wouldn’t understand the urgency or the nature of their requests if they don’t actively call your attention to it. They know the louder they cry, the more likely you are to respond, the volume of their cries is also proportional to the urgency of their need for comfort which should be taken as seriously as it sounds. It isn’t their fault, they need to feel love and comfort just as no one wants to feel unloved or neglected.


The Wrong Approach

In the new world, there seems to be an increased number of people with the opinion that children are to be left to cry for a bit. Many seem to believe that a baby crying is inevitable and the parents should leave them to it every once in a while with the belief that this will make the baby stronger and self-reliant. This argument is highly flawed because a baby will not be getting stronger or mature or self-reliant from neglect, on the contrary, they will be getting bitter and angry. It would be the same as having an adult who is incapable of helping himself beg for help and his pleas ignored repeatedly by the one person that he expects to be of help.


Your baby’s cries is an indication that he needs something from you. Sometimes what is needed is a gentle reassurance of love through obvious display of affection. At other times, the cries might indicate that something is seriously wrong. A crying child could be in pains or terribly thirsty or hungry and the only way he knows to communicate this is to cry louder. This is why you must respond to your babies cries every time.


What about My Own Need for Peace and Solitude?

We have been talking about the child’s needs for love and care, someone might be saying what about my own needs for rest, peace and alone time which a crying baby do not seem to care about. We recognize that you have these needs, but the painful truth is that it is not your baby’s responsibility to attend to or consider these needs. The reverse is the case. The responsibility to attend to your needs lies squarely with you and maybe your spouse. The good news however is that it gets easier and when they grow up, you might actually miss the whole thing. Raising a child is surely a unique experience.


The Importance of Caring For a  Baby

The irony is that parents who do care for babies as much as they should are likely to have their hands full when the baby becomes a grown kid or teenager. This is because babies whose needs were neglected earlier are likely to grown up to become bitter and angry children. It is obvious that kids with such characters are the hardest to raise as a result of a character flaw that could have been avoided through adequate care in the early years of the child’s life.


Therefore if you are a new mother, you should know that your baby wants reassurance of your love as much as possible, and he won’t be getting this assurance if it is not shown through your actions. The reason this is important is that a child that does not see obvious gesture of love might simply hate and secretly despise the parents or worse; they might wrongly conclude that they are not lovable.

Research has shown that children who have enjoyed the most affectionate care in infancy often become self-reliant and loving adults while the ones whose cries for help were ignored repeatedly become resentful and may end up expressing the built up anger in dangerous ways. Such children may also conclude that emotional withdrawal from others accompanied with loneliness and despair are preferable to the risk of potential rejection and disappointment in the search for emotional fulfilment. And once a child decides to live like this, it is almost impossible to change such outlook to life as adults. This is how many adults end up living an emotionally impoverished life.


How Toys Can Be Harmful

In a bit to satisfy a babies needs and also have a bit more time for rest and peace of mind, many parents have turned to self-satisfiers and substitution with material objects. These objects could be anything, for example; teddy bears, strollers, pacifiers, music boxes, formula food, and toys. While this is a better alternative to letting babies cry uncomforted, these “replacers of physical contact” have led us to an age where many are materialistic, lonely and emotionally impoverished. This is because, we learn to give love mostly from receiving it at an early stage in life. It is therefore ideal that one strikes a balance to ensure that our kids get sufficient amount of physical comfort from us and not from material objects. It is ok however to have a few of these objects, but they must be used as an aid and not as a replacement of the comfort you can give your child with your two hands.



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